
Do you have scars? Are your life experiences feeding into your emotional instability? It’s hard to see these scars at times, but they manifest in our relationships. Do people clam up when you speak? Are they afraid to offer opinions or feedback on your actions? These could be signs of unresolved issues in need of healing.
As a new counselor, I remember being deeply concerned about doing a good job without causing further harm to the individuals God sent my way. I was nervous, and I often spent hours praying, seeking God's wisdom and guidance. I wanted to ensure that I was delivering the right message and helping, not hurting.
Believe it or not, my first sessions took place in a modest church business office. The space was simple—an L-shaped desk filled with church documents, two chairs, a large green chalkboard covering one wall, and a recycled filing cabinet from an old equipment store.
One of my first clients was a woman I'll call "August." August, a single mother of a young child, came to me through a referral due to unresolved childhood traumas that were affecting how she parented. Despite her love for her child, her past had left scars that made it difficult to be the mother she wanted to be. Her child was now in the care of DHS, and she arrived with her head hung low, fiddling with her fingers.
I introduced myself and shared the usual informed consent talk, expressing concern for both her and her child’s safety. As we talked, I began to understand her story more deeply. August identified as an atheist, something she mentioned without much emphasis. I didn't think much of it at the time—it was just another piece of her history.
When I asked her to share how her child had ended up in the DHS system, August recounted a long history of trauma: childhood abuse, growing up in a dysfunctional home, being abandoned, and enduring both physical and sexual abuse. Through her tears, she suddenly asked me, “Do you think God is mad at me?”
I was stunned. It was a question completely unrelated to our discussion. I paused for a moment and asked, “Why is this important to you now?” August, an avowed atheist, was now concerned about how God felt about her being in a church office. Confused, I waited for her response. She shrugged, clearly unsure of how to reconcile her past beliefs with her present doubts.
Our conversation shifted dramatically. What began as a session about her parenting struggles turned into an exploration of her emotional and spiritual wounds. When I asked why she believed there was no God, August explained that as a child, she prayed fervently for God to rescue her from abuse—but He never answered. By age seven, she concluded that God did not exist.
This opened the door to profound conversations, not just for August, but for me as a counselor. As I reflect on her journey, I’m reminded that you cannot heal what you do not reveal. The difficulties we endure often leave scars—wounds that bind us emotionally and spiritually, limiting our capacity to experience joy and love fully.
My pastor once preached a sermon titled "God Instigates Calamity." It was a shocking contrast to the God of love, peace, and joy that we often focus on. He explained how God sometimes uses conflict and pain to redirect us toward His plan. The struggles we face, while painful, can serve a higher purpose, maturing us and shaping us for what lies ahead.
August’s story, like many others I’ve encountered over the years, asks a recurring question:
Where is God in our hardest moments? The answer, I believe, lies in the scriptures:
John 3:16 – For God so loved the world...
Romans 5:8 – But God demonstrates His love for us in this...
Jeremiah 31:3 – I have loved you with an everlasting love...
1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just...
Psalms 22:1 – My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?
1 Kings 19:4 – But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness...
These verses assure us that God meets us in the place of our greatest need and suffering. But we must choose to hold on, be steadfast, and trust in His plan. Our labor is not in vain, for God is ever-present, even in the midst of our pain.
Reflection
The journey of healing often begins with confronting the past. As you reflect on your scars, ask yourself: What unresolved wounds are still holding me back? Seek God's guidance, reveal your hurt, and begin the process of letting go. Healing comes when we surrender our pain to the One who knows us best.
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